Stories For The Non-Technically Inclined
Friday, October 01st, 2004 | Author: David Morris

I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.

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1st Person: “Do you know anything about this fax-machine?”
2nd Person: “A little. What’s wrong?”
1st Person: “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.”
2nd Person: “How did you load the sheet?”
1st Person: “It’s a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.”

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Tech Support: “What does the screen say now.”
Person: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support: “Well?”
Person: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

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My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, “Look, I’m not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?”

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I was working the help desk. One day one of the computer operators called me and asked if anything “bad” would happen if she dropped coins into the openings of her PC. I asked her if this was something she was thinking of doing. She said, “never mind” and hung up. So I got out my trusty tool kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU case and sure enough, there was 40 cents.

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This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard. Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to cut the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway. He didn’t remember to unplug it first. I found him in the hallway rolling back and forth.

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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, “Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?”

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I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a message comes on the screen saying, “This movie has been altered to fit your television screen.” My companion commented, “How do they know what size screen you have?

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While I was in Las Vegas and after about five hours of gambling and losing I was sitting at the bar pissed off. I looked up and saw Duncan (of a particular hair color) coming in all happy and I asked him, “How did you win all that money?” He had bags full of change. He responded, “See that machine over there?” pointing at the dollar bill changer, “Put a dollar in and you win everytime.”

Category: Weird & Stupid