Klingon Programmer Quotes
Wednesday, March 15th, 2000 | Author: David Morris

1) A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!

2) By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!

3) You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

4) Our competitors are without honor!

5) Specifications are for the weak and timid!

6) This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!

7) Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!

8) Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

9) My program has just dumped Stova Core!

10) Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!

11) “Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!”

12) “What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.”

13) “Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’, they have ‘arguments’. and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.”

14) “Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.”

15) “I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.”

16) “C++? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior uses only machine code, keyed in on the front panel switches in raw binary.”

17) “Klingon multitasking systems do not support “time-sharing”. When a Klingon program wants to run, it challenges the scheduler in hand-to-hand combat and owns the machine.”

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