Wednesday, February 20th, 2002 | Author: David Morris

For the men…

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It is one of those “evolutionary things” that allow them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me…”

How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

For the women …

Never do housework. Men don’t make love because the house is spotless.

Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he is in diapers.

If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put all of them there.

Never let your man’s mind wander, it’s too little be let out alone.

Tell him you’re not his type, you have a pulse.

Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature.

A man who can dress himself with out looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.

Women don’t make fools of men, most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

If you want a committed man, look in the mental hospital.

If he asks what sort of books you are interested in, tell him “checkbooks”.

Category: Men vs. Women