More Thoughts To Ponder
Saturday, October 28th, 2006 | Author: David Morris

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Atheism is a nonprophet organization.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts but as mattresses?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Is there another word for synonym?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be removed?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

I’m not schizophrenic. You only think we are.

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